Crazy Cat lady
by chocmanga
Summary: Just my take on where the name 'crazy cat lady' for Chandler's assistant in Tulsa came from, enjoy & review pretty please


Crazy cat lady

Just a little idea I had over the origins of the 'crazy cat lady' name for Chandler's assistant in Tulsa, so I guess this takes place in season nine before TOW Rachels' phone number

Nope still don't own anything

Scene: Monica & Chandler's, Joey enters

Joey: so where's my buddy?

Monica: (sad) he's not here yet, his flight was delayed

Joey: but he was supposed to be home like 20min ago, I delayed coming over here so you two could reacquaint

Monica: aw that's so sweet but we'll be 'reacquainting' for a lot longer than 20min believe me!

Joey: oh has someone been missing their hubby?

Monica: just a little bit

Joey: so you're horny

Monica: Joey!

Joey: no its ok because Chandler told me he's so sexually frustrated without you

Monica: (flattered) really?

Joey: yeah so I told him to hire a hooker (Monica looks disgusted) don't worry he wouldn't do it, said its not what husbands are 'supposed' to do

(Chandler enters)

Chandler: hello hello (he goes to hug Monica but Joey gets in the way) hey Joey

Joey: (squeezing Chandler) I missed you so much

Monica: lonely wife standing over here

Chandler: Joe could you let go a little bit

Joey: only if you promise me you missed me more than HER!

Chandler: fine I missed you more (mouths no to Monica)

Joey: ha told you Monica!

Monica: so come on we want to know everything, what's it like being the big important boss man?

Joey: what are Tulsa girls like?

Chandler: Monica I'm so much more than the 'boss man', I'm divisional president

Monica: oh I'm married to the president

Chandler: divisional president

Monica: shhhh president

Chandler: and Joey as for the girls they're not half bad and I think they think I'm good looking, all the female interns keep flirting with me

Joey: its probably because you're the boss

Chandler: hey!

Monica: he's probably right sweetie . . . no offense

Chandler: offense taken! I'm sexy

Joey: in Tulsa, its a lot harder to be sexy in New York

Monica: Chandler I think your sexy obviously but what Joey means is that there's a lot more people in New York so in the sexiness competition

Chandler: what I'd come last!

Monica: not in my eyes

Chandler: its not important what you think, its about the thoughts hot girls!

Joey: do you have an assistant?

Monica: she's not hot is she because I thought I was able to handle you away from me but now all this talk about good looking overly flirtatious Tulsa girls isn't helping things

Chandler: you have absolutely nothing to worry about because I'm sort of crazy about this chef back in New York, you don't know her do you? About yay high, totally gorgeous and pretty much worships the ground I walk on

Monica: aw all that power has just gone to you little head hasn't it

Chandler: no my assistant is a lovely lady but a little weird

Monica: what's up with her?

Chandler: you ever hear of 'crazy cat ladies'

Monica: my biggest fear!

Joey: what's a 'crazy cat lady'?

Monica: I thought I'd become one after Richard broke up with me

Chandler: and then you got with me and shunned the cat lady way of life

Monica: no it was probably when you asked me to move in with you, before that I was convinced you'd freak out and leave me over some trivial argument you'd blow out of proportion

Joey: I still don't get it

Chandler: remember I used to think I would become Mr. Heckles

Joey: you mean be alone for your whole life

Chandler: yea well 'crazy cat lady' is the female equivalent of Mr. Heckles . . . she's kind of scary she keeps bringing in pictures of her cats and she even had a cat wedding for two of them . . . or married one of them the pictures weren't very clear but she's bringing me in the tape next week

Joey: dude you're the boss, dump her and hire a hot assistant

Monica NO! . . . (quieter) I mean no you shouldn't do that because crazy cat lady needs her job to fund her cat hobby

Chandler: is someone jealous?

Monica: well if someone wouldn't hire a hot assistant then someone would not become jealous over someones assistant

Chandler: are we still talking about you? (Monica kisses him really passionately)

Monica: I'll make you a deal, you keep crazy cat lady and I will personally garantee some more of that good stuff . . . I'll just wait for you in the bedroom shall I (she leaves)

Joey: you know hot assistants could probably kiss like that

Chandler: you better leave us for some alone time

Joey: but I want you too!

Chandler: I'll be over later

Joey: so like say 20 minutes (Monica throws her bra out of the bedroom)

Chandler: try 20 hours! (he pushes Joey out the door and runs into the bedroom)


End file.
